Christians learn the art of dating

Christians are going on dating workshops to improve their technique in everything from chat-up lines to body language.

By Jonathan Wynne-Jones, Religious Affairs Correspondent
Last Updated: 4:06PM BST 06 Sep 2008

Dwindling congregations and a lack of experience in relationships have left many churchgoers struggling to find a partner, according to clergy.

There has been a sharp rise in the number of worshippers signing up to internet dating sites, but clergy are concerned that they are losing personal skills, such as flirting and reading signals.

Now hundreds of Christians are attending courses designed to make them more successful in turning a first date into a long-term relationship.

Peter Spalton, known as the dating doctor, said that churchgoers tended to be more reserved and could benefit from tips on how to appear more attractive.

Lessons include how to greet someone, how to hold good eye contact and how to judge whether the other person wants to be kissed at the end of the evening.

"The first meeting is crucial in making or breaking a relationship," said Mr Spalton.

"The workshops are all about giving people the confidence to make their date a success. They go through the whole process of what is acceptable to talk about and when it is appropriate to try to take things to the next level."

Mr Spalton said that chat-up lines can be a good way to make someone laugh and feel relaxed, but that some Christian jokes might not be well received.

Among those highlighted as best to avoid by Christian Connections - an online dating agency - are one-liners such as "You float my ark" and "I didn't believe in predestination until tonight".

Jackie Elton, founder of the agency, said that the number of people using Christian dating sites has doubled over the past year.

"There's been a massive rise in internet dating sites as Christians are struggling to find a partner in church," she said.

"They know what they want, but many congregations are too small or have a gender imbalance that makes it really difficult for them.

"As a result they are not getting the kind of experience they need and that's why they are turning to the workshops."

The Rev Richard Cunningham, the director of the University and College Christian Fellowship, said that as society has become more fragmented many people now lack the necessary skills to date successfully.

"With the growth of the internet, people are losing social skills we used to take for granted, and have drifted away from being able to read signals," he said.

Christian Connections asked churchgoers for chat up lines that they had used, or that had been used on them. Examples included:

'Now I know why Solomon had 700 wives. He never met you.'

'Is this pew taken?'

'I just don't feel called to celibacy.'

'You float my ark.'

'I didn't believe in predestination until tonight.'

'My parents are home, wanna come over?'

'Is that a thinline, duo-tone, compact, ESV travel bible in your pocket?'

'Let me sell you an indulgence - it's a sin to look as good as you.'

'How many times do I have to walk around you before you fall for me?"

'I like to arrange the substantial Christian section of my bookshelf into alphabetical order. Coffee?"

'The name is Will. God's Will.'